Got this feeling again, change is near. Lets talk about what I see happening in the near future. I am finally going to be debt free soon, and its been years since I have been. Honestly I feel as if it has been an entire lifetime. The last time I did not have a burden on my income was when I did not have an income. I believe it was around the same time gas prices were skyrocketing to $5 per gallon. Back in those days it costed an entire day's pay to fill up a Civic, considering that I made minimum wage at the time.

Seasons pass, I grew older, here I am, but deep inside I am the same old me. Still the same guy that chases questionable relationships and cars. Though the fast cars got a little more fancy, deep inside I want the same. Actually I am tired of wanting things, lets start getting things. I am going to have my way, I am going to have my way with my materialistic, narcissist, intimate desires.

It's been a while since I sat down and visited this corner of my world. If this blog could come to life and speak to me, I wonder what it has to say.. probably "fuck you" for ignoring me.

Over the past year I have been living life to the fullest that I am capable of. There was a special girl to me that I chased around, she was a real eye opener. Kim had a life of her own that had troubles I couldn't image, she opened herself up to me and shared all the pain and suffering there was to tell. Poor girl was married off to a stranger, a man who she had previous contact with, by her own mother. All I could do was listen to her story, I felt helpless in my ability to ease her pain. Kim didn't need my help nor did she believe there was anything to fix, it was my fault for even thinking she wanted my sympathy. What Kim wanted was to enjoy the life she was given, and forgive the past.

The situation was hard to swallow, but she moved to Norcal a week after we met. Being young and foolish as I am, I continued the chase. Long story short, it was a fun year, I was able to enjoy the wonder atmosphere of San Jose and San Francisco.  That place has a charm of its own unlike any other, I wouldn't mind living there one day (If I could afford).

Well tonight, Kim is not on my mind, there is another woman whom my heart been craving for. She's funny, witty, so honest that it hurts, she's a college friend's ex girlfriend (forbidden fruit). Her name is Adrienne, and I actually had a hard time figuring out the correct pronunciation. I thought there was some nuances between the male and female version. Apparently I am unable to figure it out, Adrienne is Adrian.

Adrienne will teach me a lesson in love. I will learn my flaws and how much of a fool I am in my inability to control myself. Someone please convince me that I am not a total goofball....

I'm glad I have this blog, I can just shout, moan, bitch, about whatever I want.

Thanks blog.